Saturday, June 19, 2004


Ever wonder where or what you'd be today if you took the other path the last time you had to make a big decision? Or when you were at a crossroad of making a life determining decision? Or probably even those small lil things which we usually take forgranted?

For the past few nights, I've been dreaming about a future of the past. The past of which I took the path I did not. Keeps me thinking now if there was a reason behind any of those dreams. Was it a sign? Or was it just another dream? But for the pass consecutive nights?? It had to be something. If only I knew what it was and why it happened. Could it just be that I think too much before I sleep?

In those dreams, I was reminded yet again of the crossroads in life and was led to the road not taken. It's kinda scary though to a point I'm glad that I woke up. This brought me to think about the way I make decisions. I could never give a spontanious decision even to the simplest question what more about life related ones? I never dared to make a decision out of my safety zone. Sometimes I wished I would never ever need to decide. Is it because of the fear of the consequences of that particular decision? I guess probably more of the responsibility of going on with whatever and wherever it leads me in life that kinda scares me. Perhaps also mainly of the fact that there is no one to blame other than myself if something goes wrong? But then again, without this situations of decision making, how then would we know we've grown in our maturtiry? Decision making often involves risks. Are we able to take the risk? To go beyond our comfort zone and take the risk to something uncertain...which could sometimes be something even better?

I probably should try making a decision I know I would normally not and see what happens. But then I willing to take the risk? Will you be willing to take the risk? But of course a decision of something not in the norm of what you would do but yet still not beyond the line of what is definitely a no-no. I probably my dreams...but wait...I already did in my dreams. So should I? more adventurous in life? Hmmm...

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