Tuesday, November 16, 2004

happy and sad

I guess I'm kinda feeling a lil of both...actually pretty much a whole lot of both at the moment. Loads of things running through my head right now. Sometimes it seems easy to get over with the fact that both my parents are now thousands...or rather what seems like millions of miles away to me but on the other hand I think I'll be alright but who am I kidding? Each time I think of them I'll shed a tear. First my dearest brother left...cried only a bit cos I still have my parents with me. Then dad goes...cried a lil bit more cos I am really close to daddy but still have mum around. And now mum goes too? Couldn't take it I cried even before she checked in. Even on the way to the airport. And even more when I was on my way home from the airport...and much more when I returned back home. Didn't know I would have cried this much though. Guess it's because I've been keeping all of it from the very beginning since my brother left. Perhaps it's just the moment in life where I have to learn to not be so dependent and with that change there's room for me to grow though I really wished it haven't had to be NOW...

But despite all that...I thank God for the people around me who have been really supportive and for being so caring and concerned and helpful all the time. Offering help even before I needed it. I'm just so grateful for them especially my beloved cuzzie ALE...aunty IRENE...aunty MEILING and aunty CATHERINE...good neighbours aunt and unc SOON...friends and relatives....sigh what would I do without them?

Well ok I better not dwell on that before I start breaking down. Let's see...sunday was definitely a day to remember. The day little John sang a song. He's voice was sooo cute I tell you...the way he sang melted my heart. Ah his cute lil voice is just so unforgettable!!! Listening to him sing reminds me also of my lil cuzzie in penang who sings so cutely as well. Especially his facial expression. Ahhh...ok I better not get into the part where I miss him cos then I'd miss a whole lot ppl and get all emotional again.

Time to talk bout something else. Went out with Meera today. My closest best friend in highschool. Had a heck of time together...rekindling sweet memories of our schooling years again. Talked about our plans and dreams we had when we were earlier. Talked a whole lot of a whole lot of stuffs. Well cos we practically were talking the whole day. First we had lunch in chili's (er is that how it's spelled?) My oh my was the food yummy. The grilled lamb something...forgot what's it called was mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm!!! Juicy and delicious. My dearest wonderful friend insisted it was on her. THanks yah!!!!!! It's was lovely!!!!! So we talked about the silly things we did...well most the silly things I did...cos I was the SILLY one hahaha. Won't wanna put all the silly stuffs I did or say or act here though. Come to think of high school makes me really miss it! Not the studying part though...just the life in highschool minus the studying part.

This whole day out we had soooo much to talk and laugh about. Just imagine how much there was to catch up from the last time we last met...which was actually only about a months or so though...but back in those years...although we were seeing each other in school everyday...we even had our chat sessions almost everyday after school hours or during tuition. So there was just soooo much. We were practically laughing a lot our cheek bones were just soo exaushted to a point it just stayed smiling. Even when we were just relaxing I mean u know we were practically just smilling all the way. People would have thought there was something wrong with us. I guess most of the time ppl would have thought that since we were practically talking and then laughing out so loudly. Well I'm practically crazy all the time...most of you would know since I'm practically laughing most of the time at anything and everything.

After lunch we decided to just go somewhere...we were sick of being in buildings we really wanted to like go somewhere...with something nice to look at or perhaps a park or hill or something lah. Then we had the craziest idea of just driving around. Which was practically what we did. Actually we had a destination in mind....putrajaya. NOt exactly the best time to go since the night view is much more superb or so I heard. So just thought of seeing some day time or rather evening time view of it. The journey to finally reach there...was just one big joke. Seriously ok where should I begin. First we came out of 1U...following the signs. Though I must say you can never rely on the signboards. The journey which supposedly be on the highway all the way led us to some detours. Mainly also it started rainning!! Anyways...the detours include...a U turn, into housing areas, industrial area and shop lots. Yups we went through all that...don't ask me how or why though. Funny thing is before we headed to a certain place we were just following the light...well cos it was already cloudy and there was just one portion of the sky which was really bright as though a light was shinning down from heaven. So we thought of just goin that direction (haha...the things ppl like us do) but that made us end up back in subang cos after a while it just went off. Sigh after writting this much I actually kinda forgot the reason I'm typing this or where I'm heading from here though. Probably just wanted to get my mind of some things I don't want to be dwelling on.

Before I started blaberring on that I had something in mind to blog about for the day...but guess I simply just forgot. How sad...wel before I continue on gibberishly I should stop here and really start on my assignment. Haha...yea I said that like days ago though. AAhhhhHHHHhhhh..

Oh at this moment as I'm typing this I'm chatting with YONGMAY....and SHE IS BACK!!!!!! CAn't really sink that fact in my mind that she's HERE...back in MSIA!!!!! wOOOHHOOO!!!!!!!! *goes crazy*

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